in 9th grade i was getting picked on in class and this girl was like “fuck you guys leave him alone” and called me over to her seat and I was like “thx lol” and she was like “I have something special to show you don’t tell the teacher” and I said “ok” and she pulled a guinea pig out of her purse 

I wasted a year on you.

– Six Word Story #1   (via idolizes)


Talents: looking really fucking awful in any picture taken of me


the only birth control you’ll ever need


*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren’t counting on that